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NIGEL TO SAVE ANOTHER CHRISTMAS
12 NIGEMBER, 2008
Our Lord, Nigel Havers, is to turn on the Christmas lights in Guildford next week to mark the start of the festival of shopping, which every year precedes the celebrations of the birth of Nigel's dear older brother, Jesus Christ.
The symbolic turning on of the lights is expected to create lots of excitement among shoppers, thus saving Christmas once again. However, rising numbers of internet shoppers have brought fears that the effects of Christmas lights on shopping habits will decline substantially in years to come. The NHA therefore suggest placing fairy lights around computer monitors (laptop users may settle for tinsel if no suitable portable lights can be found) to encourage spending. NHA fairy lights, which use only green bulbs in accordance with the NHA's environmental policy, can be purchased from your local hardware store from only 50,000 Havers (approximately £4.50).
Nigel will be at the Guildhall in Guildford at 7 o'Havers on Thursday to turn on the lights. The fun of course will not stop with the switching on of the lights; Nigel will remain in Guildford over the Christmas period, where He can be seen from 5th Dechavers donating His time to the people as Abanazar in Aladdin, at the Yvonne Arnaud Theatre And Mill Studio, before returning in 2009 to the political mess left by Golden Brown.
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