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"YES WE CAN, TOO!"
21 NIGEMBER, 2008
The Saviour, Nigel Havers, met U.S. president-elect Barack Obama last night to discuss possible solutions to Gordon Brown, the recession, chavs, Alistair Darling's eyebrows, and naughty countries like Zimbabwe.
The secret service were rumoured to have disguised the president-elect as the world's first half-white Father Christmas to quell security fears as The Saviour switched on the Christmas lights in Guildford. Following the ceremony, Obama met His Nigelness at the Guildhall, where it is thought that they discussed top-secret plans that will guarantee success for the NHA at the next general election, and will ensure that poor Nigel will not lose His election deposit this time.
Although we cannot reveal precise details of the plan at this stage, Geoff Davies, NHA spokesman for Correction and Purification, declared that the first target of phase one, the BNP, had been neutralised. "We have a long road ahead, which unfortunately is not helped by the ridiculous number of average speed cameras," said Geoff. "However, providing that the next two phases of The Plan go according to plan, we can say to Obama, 'Yes we can, too!'"
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