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NHA Committee To Investigate "Heavy-Handed" Police
8 DECHAVERS, 2008
The Saviour, Nigel Havers, has launched an NHA committee to investigate NHA defences against increasingly heavy-handed tactics employed by the police following the arrest of Damian Green, the shadow immigration spokesman, and subsequent searching of his office without a warrant.
It was first thought that it was the NHA who had infiltrated the police force, following the actions of the NHA's own Tory mole, Boris Johnson, in removing the ghastly troglodyte Sir Ian Blair. However, increasing police hostility towards both the Conservatives and the NHA has raised fears that the police are now using NHA tactics to achieve their own dastardly political ends.
"It is regrettable that success at the polls for the NHA may occasionally depend on unorthodox action by the NHA Army," said Geoff Davies, NHA spokesman for Correction and Purification. "However, this debacle is particularly concerning for the NHA as it shows that the beastly Metropolitan Police are undermining the authority of our own NHA Army, not only by stealing our tactics, but also by using these tactics against us."
Currently, anyone found to having betrayed His Nigelness, for instance by searching an NHA property with or without correct authorisation, is executed immediately. However, the searching of an MP's office without a warrant raises concerns that the Metropolitan Police, reacting to increased popularity of the NHA, have infiltrated the NHA Army and begun using NHA Army tactics.
"As with all such matters, the only appropriate response is to hold a committee," said the NHA's Minister for Adminstration and professional busy body, Angela Lansbury, who will be investigating the matter on behalf of Our Lord, Nigel Havers. "The police and various thugs in the cabinet are clearly reacting to the NHA's impending victory, and I will make it my proud duty to make sure they do not get too big for their helmets."
Lansbury has investigated many such matters for the NHA. We wish her luck with her investigations, and hope that no family friends or distant relatives die mysteriously to impede her progress.
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