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ESTHER RANTZEN EXPELLED FROM NHA
20 Mayvers, 2009
Ex-That’s Life presenter, Esther Rantzen, has been expelled from the NHA following her announcement on Monday that she would stand as an independent candidate against disgraced Labour MP Margaret Moran.
Although not yet a full member of the Alliance, Rantzen was a rising star of the NHA whose indoctrination was nearly complete.
“It’s a great shame for the party,” said Assistant Vice-President, Donald Jefferson. “The selection process for the NHA is very tough indeed, as Nigel will only accept the crème de la crème to fight for The Cause. However, Esther was proving to be a very worthy candidate; although she had trouble with the physical tests, she more than made up for them with the mental agility tests, while her levels of strategic cunning were off the chart.”
The Constitution of the NHA do however have very strict rules; line 172 of Article Four very clearly states, “No Ally of The Saviour Nigel Havers should betray or display mutinous tendencies towards said Saviour… whether in earnest or in jest… lest he or she face immediate expulsion from the Alliance and judgment by court-martial.”
Rantzen is excused from judgment by court-martial as she has not yet been ordained. However, she will be required to return her access pass to Château l’Havères, and her NHA cheque book and pen.
“She was truly a rising star of the party,” added Geoff Davies, Minister for Correction and Purification. “It’s very unfortunate, although I believe she is getting off very lightly.”
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The first of many exciting vacancies at the NHA for 2009 has just arisen! If you think you have what it takes to join Nigel and the gang, please send a CV and covering letter to , remembering to tell our support team in 500 words and no more or less why Nigel Havers should be the next Prime Minister*.
* The best responses may be published on www.nigelhaversalliance.com for morale and propaganda purposes.
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