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NIGEL “PLEASED” WITH ELECTION RESULT
8 Nigune, 2009
The Saviour, Nigel Havers, is said to be “pleased” with the result of last week’s local and European elections, which saw a staggering 2750% increase in the number of people who voted NHA compared with the 2005 general election, when one person voted for the NHA.
“This result really is marvellous news for the NHA,” said His Nigelness in an exclusive interview for NHATVUK1+2, the new television channel from Havers Media. “It shows that we’re finally on the right track, that people are listening to what we’ve been saying at last. It’s a real confidence booster, not only for us, but for our loyal followers too, more of whom will be encouraged to come out of the woodwork at the next election.”
A total of 11 whole people voted for the NHA in the county council elections last Thursday, while an amazing 17½ people voted for the NHA in the European elections.
Unfortunately, none of the votes that were cast for the NHA were deemed eligible, as they were all cast in areas where the NHA had not been registered to vote, meaning that the 28½ votes for Nigel were considered “spoiled” papers.
“It is extremely disappointing that the votes cast for the NHA are not being counted due to a technicality with the voting system. It is also disappointing that we have lost our election deposits yet again. However, we’re a determined bunch, and come what may, we will definitely be in power within twelve months. In the meantime, we have our best man, Geoff Davies, on the case; the Electoral Commission picked the wrong day to mess with the NHA! We will not stand for this kind of repression!”
Bold words indeed, Nigel!
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