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NIGEL PREPARES BID FOR TROUBLED EAST COAST LINE
2 Niguly, 2009
The Saviour Nigel Havers has announced His intention to bid for the troubled East Coast rail franchise, if and when it becomes available.
The NHA have already announced their plan to fully Nigelise the British Railway network when they win the next general election. However, the operation of the East Coast service by Haverian Railways in the meantime would help “soften the blow” before the service can be rolled out to the rest of the country.
In an exclusive interview for NHATVUK1+2, the new television channel from Havers Media, Nigel outlined His vision for the future of rail travel.
“Privatisation of the railways has been one of the key factors that have contributed to the complete failure of rail ‘services’ in the UK in recent years. The failure of National Express to manage their service effectively has provided us with a fantastic opportunity to show the public how we plan to revolutionise railways in this country.”
The strength of Nigel’s bid lies primarily with the benefits that Haverian Railways will bring to the country, rather than with the provision of any financial benefits to the government’s pockets. These revolutionary benefits, never before provided by previous rail services in the UK, include customer service, schedules, a ban on unnecessary announcements, discounts for nice customers, free tea for all, and trains that are actually deserving of the title “high speed” (including the promise of warp speed trains by 2020).
The Saviour is indeed very optimistic about His vision to save UK rail travel, as His comment on NigelTwitt, the Saviour’s very own Twitter page demonstrates:
“Warp speed Haverian Railway to win East Coast line? Quite excited by the thought of London to Edinburgh in the projected 12.5 Nigeminutes!”
Well done, Nigel!
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