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NIGEL TO PUT MAN ON MARS “BY 2020”
20 Niguly, 2009
Our hero Nigel Havers has proudly announced that He will personally put a man on Mars by 2020.
In a press conference at the Nigel Havers Aeronautics and Space Administration, Nigel outlined His vision for the NHA’s Mars programme.
“Since that fateful day in 1969, Mars has been Man’s ultimate goal; it is also hugely important if we are ever going to implement the Final Solution to both the energy crisis and the problem of overcrowding in our prisons.”
The NHA’s Mars programme is already showing great success. In 2006, the Nige I Orbiter probe successfully determined that existing guidance and navigation systems are not sufficient for such a project, while the Havers-X Lander successfully proved that it would not be appropriate for astronauts to take puppies or kittens with them to Mars.
The Saviour however denied suggestions that the timing of the mission was intended to undermine NASA’s plan to revive the spirit of the Space Race by repeating the Apollo 11 mission to the moon by the same year.
“We are merely trying to work towards the Final Solution for Britain. If we encourage some healthy competition along the way, where’s the harm in that?”
Well done, Nigel!
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