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Nigel to be Second EU President
19 NIGEMBER , 2009
Our Lord Nigel Havers is being tipped as the favourite to become the second president of the European Union, following the announcement that Belgian Prime Minister, Herman Van Rompuy, will be first at the helm of the top job.
The decision to install Van Rompuy as an interim puppet leader has caused a great deal of upset among loyal NHA Comrades, both at home and abroad. However, EU leaders today claimed that the EU presidency would be an “unwelcome distraction” to Nigel’s efforts to fix the UK from its current mess, as He prepares for His first term as Prime Minister next year.
The Saviour is currently attracting very exciting odds on NigeBet for the 2010 UK general election, and is also the most likely candidate for the next EU presidency when it is chosen again in 2½ years, according to an independent poll conducted on Wednesday.
Although Nigel has not openly declared His position on the EU presidency, He has received overwhelming support from His own party, and from other notable characters, including Vince Cable, Boris Johnson, and Bill Oddie.
Donald Jefferson, the NHA’s Assistant Vice-President declared his support for Nigel earlier today in an exclusive interview for NHATVUK1+2, the new entertainment channel from Havers Media.
“There truly is no one better suited for the role than Our Lord and Master, Nigel Havers,” said Jefferson, speaking to Neil Buchanan on The One Nigel Show. “Nigel has consistently shown His confidence in bringing the Europe project into the 21st century; His speeches on human rights, energy, transport and slavery being impeccable, despicable, and inspirational. Europe needs His strong voice. However, Europe is a big boy now and it is right that Nigel’s efforts are focused on digging the UK out of the hole she has found herself in first, before moving onto more imperialistic ambitions.”
Top work, Nigel!
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