HEALTH
EDUCATION
EMPLOYMENT
EUROPE
MIDDLE EAST
ENERGY
TRANSPORT
SPELLING & GRAMMAR
SATIRE
NICK ROBINSON
VIDEOS:
NIGEL HAVERS’ PARTY ELECTION BROADCAST 2010
NIGEL HAVERS GETS A TATTOO
PRIVILEGE INSURANCE ADVERT
WOGAN: NOW AND THEN
LLOYDS BANK ADVERT
© NHA MMX
NHA NEWS
2010 | 2009 | 2008 | 2007 | 2006
Nigel to “Ban Fun”
19 Nigeanuary, 2010
Our Master, Nigel Havers, in true opposition style, has kick-started His pre-election campaign by speaking out in support of the government’s latest attempt to clamp down on binge drinking in the UK.
In His weekly address to the nation on Radio Nigel, the new radio station from Havers Media, our Lord Nigel Havers said that He agreed in principle with the latest scheme to exert stricter social authority by the proposed banning of irresponsible drinks promotions, abandonment of the removal of war time licensing restrictions, and further increases to taxation on drinks. However, while He commended their efforts, Nigel also criticised both Labour and the Conservatives for not going far enough:
“Labour and the Conservatives have not gone far enough. What we need to do is to get to the root of the problem in order to achieve real social change. What we need to do is to completely remove fun from pubs and clubs. Only then will we recover our damaged reputation in the UK and abroad. What is more, we need to achieve this change now. After all, the cretinous electorate cannot be expected after a night on the tiles to be sensible and vote for the NHA in the next election.”
Among the NHA’s proposals to overcome the binge culture in the UK are measures to impose smaller drink measures for women, tougher ID controls and character reference checks at the point of sale, and the immediate closure of Essex.
Both Matthew Corbett, Morale Enforcement Officer for the NHA, and Donald Sutherland, Spokesman for Spiritual and Technological Advancement for the NHA, have publicly announced their support for Nigel’s latest campaign:
“Only Nigel Havers could be bold enough to say it like it is, in what will undoubtedly be an election winning initiative this year,” posted Corbett on his Twitter page, while Sutherland posted: “The people of Britain are a mess; He will put them right, have no fear.”
Nigel’s address this morning is already proving to be popular among voters. According to an independent poll conducted by NigePoll, Labour and the Conservatives are currently neck and neck, while the NHA is quickly catching up, climbing ten points since the last poll conducted before Christmas.
Well done, Nigel!
OTHER NEWS