background image
LATEST NHA NEWS: 

NHA NEWS
2010 | 2009 | 2008 | 2007 | 2006

 

Nigel Havers to Defeat Unions
19 Marchvers, 2010

Nigebot

Artist’s impression of an NHA Worker Drone

Nigel’s Grand Plan

  • Strikers to face instant Occupational Reallocation
  • A replacement workforce will be employed
  • Where a replacement workforce is not available, work will be carried out by special drones or “Nigebots”

Our Lord, Nigel Havers, has today revealed plans to dramatically curb the power of unions when the NHA win the general election.

A radical new plan announced today will soon see the end of industrial action as we know it.

Nigel’s plan comes as the UK is yet again facing potentially crippling action by Unite and the RMT. Of course, NHA services such as Havairs, Post-Haste, and Haverian Railways, are already immune to industrial action. However, most public services, as we are all painfully aware, have been open to attack from unions for many years.

The strategy, revealed today in an exclusive interview for NHATVUK1+2, the new entertainment channel from Havers Media, proposes instant dismissal to workers who go on strike, and suggests they be replaced by a vast army of Nigebots, special robots designed to carry out the work of humans when they become too stubborn to work.

“It is my plan to ensure that everyone in my country has the right to go out to work,” said Nigel on The Pitbull and the Badger, the new chat show on NHATVUK1+2 starring Sarah Palin and Ruth Badger.  “However, it is also my duty to ensure that this right to work is not abused. Clearly, when humans become too stubborn or moronic to work, we need a replacement workforce that cannot be infected by emotion or greed.”

Nigel has already been branded a saviour by Mayor of London and previous NHA Unsung Hero, Boris Johnson, who believes it will be the ultimate solution to the problems with the Jubilee Line.

Well done, Nigel!

 

OTHER NEWS

More...