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Nigel Launches Election Manifesto
15 Havril, 2010
Nigel’s Vision for Britain:
- Abolition of VAT on teabags
- Introduction of customer service and buffet cars on London Underground
- Immediate removal of Nick Robinson from BBC
- Free pogo sticks for all
The Saviour Nigel Havers has today kick-started the campaign proper for the Nigel Havers Alliance with the launch of His long-awaited manifesto.
The 972 page document titled “Your Invitation to Join Nigel” outlines Havers’ vision for Britain. In it, He brilliantly declares the policies that will be introduced when the NHA come to power next month, including the abolition of VAT on teabags, the introduction of customer service and buffet cars on the London Underground, and the immediate banning of broadcasts by the BBC’s Nick Robinson.
Speaking at the launch of the manifesto at the marvellous surroundings of the Bettys Tea Rooms in York, His Nigelness declared that Britain was about to enter an exciting era of growth and charm.
Nigel refused to comment on the action the party would take in the unlikely event that He does not win next month’s general election, which is hinted at in Appendix B of the manifesto, instead dismissing the possibility as sheer nonsense: “As I have already stated on the matter, come what may, on 7th Mayvers the NHA shall be in power; there will be no loss of our election deposit this year!”
Bold words indeed, Nigel!
To request your copy of the NHA’s manifesto, please email , remembering to include a cheque for 50 million Havers to cover administrative costs.
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