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POLICIES

MIDDLE EAST

Middle EastThe Middle East has been a thorny political issue for many years, attracting politicians from all sides to voice their high and mighty opinions on how to achieve world peace.  The NHA are no exception.  We appreciate that President Obama has his work cut out for him, and that he will certainly struggle without the support of The Saviour, Nigel Havers.

The NHA therefore plan to take a leading role in the Middle East, with a combination of decisive action, charm, and some cracking initiatives, including:

  • A much clearer, more achievable road map to peace, featuring directions, alternative routes, and a comprehensive list of speed camera locations.
  • We will insist on being able to locate weapons of mass destruction prior to invading offending nations.
  • The presence of fossil fuels in nations will be personally protected by His Nigelness for an insignificant monthly fee.
  • All suicide bombers will be required to attend special training schools, where they will need to prove that they can blow themselves up successfully before they can enter the real world.