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POLICIES

NICK ROBINSON

Nick RobinsonWriter, broadcaster, journalist, and junior chess champion 1970-1972, Nick Robinson is not merely a household name; in recent years, he has risen through the broadcasting ranks to become an annoyance and a disturbance in the force of politics.

However, it is not just the gut-wrenching, vomit-inducing tone of his voice, nor is it the arrogance exploding from his bald head or his beaming stare which just emanates disdain. Rather, it is what Robinson represents: pure, unadulterated, journalistic scorn and disrespect towards politics.

In his now infamous interview with The Saviour, Nigel Havers, Robinson was unable to disguise the sheer contempt he had for the NHA, having the gall to imply that the NHA are a silly party that have no chance of being elected.

Suffice it to say, Robinson was immediately designated an official enemy of the NHA, joining such other beastly pustules as Fred Goodwin, George W. Bush, and Mahatma Ghandi.

However, His Nigelness has seen fit to create a policy to prevent the journalistic bile factory that is the British media from producing any more people like Robinson. 

We will therefore introduce a compulsory Licence of Journalism when we are elected.  This qualification will be mandatory for all journalists to achieve before they will be permitted to conduct any journalistic activities in public.  Moreover, in order to meet quality control targets, all journalistic activities will be supervised and moderated by Havers Media.